How Stillness Changed My ‘What if’

How Stillness Changed My ‘What if’

It happened during a recent sabbatical, spent deep in the heart of the Ozark Mountains.  I had been struggling and needed to think through some persistent challenges that had wrapped tentacles of confusion around my mind.  So, I had taken retreat into the arms of nature’s seclusion.  My hope was to, once again, find the portal of clarity that is so often cradled in the quiet of a natural setting, where Stillness comes easily and soft tones of crystal Truth await.

It was there, the Still, Small, Voice, which permeates through the layers of all creation…reminding, reassuring, clearing the pathway to sacred certainty.  I could feel the purity of its presence.  My heart recognized the stalwart calm, but my mind’s frantic, tangled mass of doubts and fears roared.

“But, What If?!”  

There had been a hundred roaring “what ifs”, circling round and round my mind.  Loud and clamoring.  That’s what fear does.

It roars.

Fear’s most trusted weapon is pretense.  It draws deeply, into its tiny bulbous form, the heavy air of pseudo-truth, puffing itself up -larger and larger- grotesquely stretching the limits of its wretched outer layer.  It looms, threatening and overshadowing, keeping a watchful eye for any hint of its captive’s escape.  At the slightest forward movement, it exhales a tremendous roar, in a desperate attempt to convince its victim that there is no other option.

I sat in silence, keenly aware of the distant, thundering echo of my questions.

Then, it happened.

It was as if Love reached into the atmosphere, capturing the resounding “what ifs” to pull them close, caressing them tenderly…transforming them into something different.  Something humble and profoundly pure.  Holding them in the palm of His hand, the whisper soft breath of God blew them back to me -those changed questioning words.

“But…my Beloved.  What if?”

What if we could see the reality of the fears that hold us captive?  What if we could let go of that which renders us immobile?  What if we could fully trust the inner guide that draws us into uncharted waters?  And what if we could surrender our own feeble attempts to control that which we cannot possibly grasp, in exchange for Love’s best intention?

What if…

Two small words that wield such power.

Two versions of the same.

What if we choose to embrace the version that dispels the deceptive illusion of fear and ushers us into our very best version of life?

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